Esther McCarthy with her personalised batch of gin at Clonakilty Distillery, West Cork.

Some would say I've always had a bit of a messiah complex, so when I was given the chance to turn water into gin, I said praise be, count me in. 

Myself and fellow gin apostle, Annmarie, land down to West Cork ready to learn all about what makes gin worth worshipping. There's a small group of us, ready to create our personal gin, our guide is visitor experience manager of the Clonakilty Distillery, Ewan Paterson. 

There are, according to Ewan, three rules, or dare I say, commandments when it comes to gin. Firstly, you have to start with alcohol that is 96% proof, and flavourless. Secondly, thou shalt ensure it is distilled with the flavour of Juniper Berries. Third, it has to be a minimum of 37.5 ABV (alcohol by volume). After that, anything goes, baby. 

We will be using the same whey alcohol in our personal gins that the distiller uses to produce their award-winning Minke Gin and Minke Vodka, in the three glowing copper pot stills in the picturesque town of Clon.

Each couple is given mason jars of botanicals, a weighing scale and some beakers and test tubes. It's all very scientific. They also make the mistake of giving us a complementary Minke gin and Poacher's Tonic, which in turn gives Ann Marie and myself a right lip. 

The botanicals are divided into three groups: core, support and key. From the core group, we use Juniper (anywhere between 3-6grams) and Coriander Seeds (0.75g-1.75g). You'll find both of these in 99% of all gins, they complement each other - the Juniper Berries are woody, piney with a hint of fruit and the Coriander has hints of citrus. You then choose between Angelica Root, which is earthy or Orris Root which is slightly floral. 

Ewan tells us that Chanel is the largest buyer of Orris Root in the world, it makes the perfume last longer. The Angelica makes sure it tastes the same in six months' time as it did when you first opened it.

Ewan encourages us to think of it like making a pizza -if the foundation is your base, the next level is the sauce which is where your support botanicals come in. These are things like Orange Peel, Lemon Peel, Cardamom Pods, Liquorice Root, Fennel Seeds and Celery Seeds. I opt for Lemon Verbena and I throw about 0.9grams of it. It's herbal, with a really distinct lemon flavour. I'm salivating already. 

Your cheese and toppings then, if I'm to continue the pizza metaphor, are your key botanicals. We have a huge choice here, like Ginger Root Powder, Lemongrass, Lavender, Elderberries, Nutmeg, and Yarrow Herb. These are what Ewan calls your headline grabbers, the thing the marketing lads love. 

For their Minke gin, for example, it would be Rock Samphire. It's foraged by hand around the nearby cliffs of west Cork. "It's like a touch of the coast," says Ewan, "like putting a shell to your ear." 

He points at me, eyebrows raised, head cocked, as I reach for my drink. "Don't put the glass to your ear," he warns. I slowly put it back on the table and tend to my botanicals. How did he know? 

We have six sample recipes, if you like a spicy gin, for example, then it suggests the base of 5g Juniper Berries, 1.25g Coriander Seeds, 0.4g of Angelica Root, 0.25g Lemon Peel, 0.45g Orange Peel, 0.45g Cardamom, 0.05g Celery Seed and from your key botanicals, 0.05g Nutmeg and 0.4g Elderberries. 

But I didn't get where I am today by following the suggested guidelines. I go rogue. I go full Nigella. I put a pinch of this and a dash of that, darlings. I don't even use the weighing scales, that's how much of a rebel I am. 

We go upstairs to our own personal mini copper still. We tip our botanicals into the still which already has the base liquid, we use little spatulas to scrape out every last bit. We heat up the still to six and a half and put the top back on. Then some science stuff happens, I may have been talking when Ewan was explaining this bit, but I do know the strength will be about 40%. There's a worm tub condenser involved, take my word for it. Basically, the cold water runs inside the pipe, the hot water hits the side of the pipe and condenses back into alcohol. Magic.

There were rules - the main one being we're not allowed to drink the alcohol coming out of the stills. That's a definite no-no, says Ewan, again looking in my direction, for some reason. At each stage, we need to measure the amount of liquid and record its alcohol content of it - for Revenue! Those fellas are everywhere. 

We run off the first 20mls of liquid, then we move our 'Heads and Tails' beaker to the side, the pure part is called the Hearts, we have a separate beaker for that, then back goes the first beaker for the tails bit. Basically, we don't want ethanol. I can live with that. 

We collect 320 millilitres of hearts, that is, as the name suggests, the good stuff. Ewan measures the alcohol content of the hearts, he keeps the heads and tails and keeps a record of that for revenue inspection. It's random visits, says Ewan, but when they first opened the officer came every couple of months, and they're on their third Revenue Inspector. I slip my innocent empty flask back in my bag, it's not worth it, mate. 

Ewan fills us in on the whiskey production they do on site - they hand select our casks from all over the world, using ex-bourbon, port, sherry, cognac, rum and red wine casks. Then they fill with their spirit, going on to mature and finish it at their Atlantic Ocean warehouse. "The salt-laden air provides a unique environment to mature the finest of whiskeys," says Ewan, giving the marketing lads a run for their money. He tells us the owners, the Scully family, have a farm near Galley Head Lighthouse where they grow their own heritage barley. 

Back to the gin, we bottle and stick the label and are invited to come up with a name for our special individual batch. I choose Chancers. Make of that what you will.  "Infused with Citrus, Verbenas, a hint of angelica Root and perfect Pink Peppers," I write on the label. It's 39.6% strength, and when I get it home and open it up for a test drive - it actually tastes like gin and it doesn't make me go blind. A miracle indeed. 

Visitors to Clonakilty Whiskey and Gin Distillery shouldn’t forget to get their Irish Whiskey 360° Passport stamped. The Irish Whiskey Association (IWA) has introduced the initiative to allow people to document their trips to the visitor centres of member distilleries for tours and tastings. 

There are 26 distilleries with visitor experiences in the five tourist regions on the island of Ireland. If you collect at least five stamps, with one from each region, you can apply for an Irish Whiskey 360° champion special pin and other rewards. Passports are available to be picked up at IWA member distilleries. 

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